The countdown 21

I was hospitalized for about a month. one or several steps closer to death. when somebody feels that his death is getting closer , a lot of other's people's daily problems seem laughable/ pathetic to him.It is an interesting feeling for me though.In a movie called ghost rider II, there was a character called "Decay". he was villian put by Satan on earth to kill people. whenever this guy, was on screen touching any person, the picture becamce darker, and colors were fading into white, gray and black. I feel the same thing. any day that passess and my health deteriorates, I feels everything around me becomes darker and more gray. This feeling can only be felt when somebody knows he does not have a lot of time to live.it can not be described but felt. I am still consciousbut being on 5 liters oxygen at rest and more than 10 Liter per mintues on exerction is not a healthy way of living..its a dark and lonely place to be.